W

I watched W the other day.

I was surprised because I expected it to be a complete Bush-bashing. The obvious. But it wasn't. Stone presented it more like this:

Bush is a good old boy who really only wants to do the right thing. However, he is being influenced by a bunch of evil people who often steer him in the wrong direction.

That's really more like how I believe the last 8 years have gone down anyway.

Another Weird Picture

Face

Wha?

What ridiculous person even thought of this??

Back From Vacation

Here is the rundown:

Idaho: For the most part, quite dry and dusty, and terribly boring.
Montana: Green, tons of log cabins, and iffy cell phone service.
North Dakota: Extremely flat, pretty boring, home of the world's largest everythings.
Minnesota: Flat, perfectly groomed lawns even though you never see anyone mowing, and nothing to do.

The vacation was good in the sense that I was able to get some time off work, some sun, and to see my parent's vacation house. What wasn't great about it is the lack of ability to sleep in, having to do manual labor for two days of it, having two days of bad weather (and not on the two days I worked), and that not only was my phone in roaming but it also didn't get great cell service out there. I also missed all my friends.

Something I also realized was that it's not that I didn't want to take a vacation in Minnesota, it was that I was under the discretion of my parents. It was like being a kid again in the sense that I couldn't come and go as I pleased, I couldn't make any decisions, and that I was 1500 miles away from the life I set up for myself in Portland.

Will I go again? Of course. I don't know when, though.

It's Too Bad

It is really too bad about Bernie Mac. Pneumonia is nothing to scoff at, even though it can be unpredictable whether or not it will turn into something deadly.

It's also evidence that having piles of money can't always save you when you are sick. Sometimes it is all just luck of the draw.

Watch Out For The...

...VAMPIRE (bats).

Rabies would really, REALLY suck.

Crazy Hot

Calfornia is always on fire...apparently, even under the surface.

You All Will Appreciate...

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

Fat Feline

Click here to read about this HUGE cat!

The Dark Knight

I went to see The Dark Knight last night.

That was one of the few movies that was actually worth seeing in the theater. Heath Ledger's Joker was maniacal and who doesn't love Christian Bale. The only actor I could have passed on was Maggie Gyllenhaal---not because she's a bad actress---I just don't like her in that part.

Anyway, that being said, everyone should go see it.

Tribute

I found out yesterday that a friend of mine committed suicide.

Never will the tulips
forget the moment
you sat among them.
Neither will the tree
let go of your memory,
like how I cannot
forget how you looked
so happy in that photo.

UGH

This is WAY too many. What ever happened to replacing yourself and conserving resources...?

This Is Giving Me Ideas

Here is another example of how being skinny can get you places...

HEMPSTEAD, Texas — A man charged with murder escaped from jail early Saturday by climbing through an air conditioner vent, authorities said.

The vent was less than a foot wide, and authorities said Darryl Layne Norris had been losing weight since arriving at the Waller County Jail in April.

The jail noticed the 6-foot, 160-pound man was missing after performing a routine head count.

Norris, 26, and another man are charged with murder in connection with an April 17 convenience store robbery.

Unending Week

The past couple weeks have been soooo busy.

Forgive the sparse posting. I'm basically swamped.

Pretty Sweet

Lifesaver.

Very Interesting

It Involved A Fire Truck At One Point

My birthday started out much like any other ordinary day. I ran errands and went to the magazine office. Afterwards, AJ and CH came over to drop off gifts for me that were too big to go the the restaurant.

We went to Lucy's Table for a happy hour dinner. I had goat cheese ravioli which was really good but tiny, so I also ate prosciutto-wrapped asparagus. Joining us there were LT and my sister (who technically got a ride with us). Once we finished dinner, we decided to go to Blue Hour for dessert. Three of us ordered different things and we all had different opinions of which was best. Mine was a panna cotta type dish with blueberry sauce over the top. Whatever my sister got was the best---I have no idea what it was though.

After dessert I felt like I just wanted to walk around. I wasn't in the mood for more drinking because I'm not much of a drinker. We ended up at the previously-blogged about Jamison Square park where we noticed two unattended fire trucks. Everything else went out of my mind but posing for pictures with those trucks. It was...HILARIOUS. We were making quite a big deal of it until two firemen appeared as if from nowhere with ice cream cones.

They asked us what we were up to. We told them we were posing with the truck and asked what they were doing. They said they were getting ice cream. My sister then offered up that it was my birthday and they offered us to take pictures IN the truck. Then my sister told them they should take us for a ride, so they did. There are pictures to prove it. After it was over we finished out the night at Olive or Twist. We shared a couple drinks because I think we were all done for the night but we used the time to reflect on the occurrence.

It might be a birthday experience that is hard to top.

"Men Don't Get In Trouble There"

A British woman on Wednesday was facing six years in jail for allegedly having sex on a Dubai beach, the Times of London reported.

Publishing firm manager Michelle Palmer, 30, was charged with having sex outside of marriage, indecent behavior in public, being drunk in public and assaulting a police officer on Saturday on the United Arab Emirates' Jumeirah Beach, the Times reported.

Her alleged partner in the crime was unnamed in the story but is reported to be a British man on vacation. If convicted, Palmer could face three months to six years in jail.

Of course, only the woman has committed any sort of crime according to this tiny article...
Though, according to the London Times article linked below, the guy got in trouble too. They still don't name his name though, which certainly seems to be a double standard. They've all protected him from the backlash that this poor woman is going to suffer...

Read on.

Global...Warming?

I found this article interesting. As we know, Global Warming has conveniently become Climate Change which would encompass every contradiction that "scientists" can come up with.

I have to say, I'm getting quite tired of all this mumbo-jumbo.

More Crazy Cops

Reposting this video from another blog.

It contains examples of personal freedoms being walked on and also examples of police officers who don't know the law. I think I had a similar post in which the right to photograph was brought into question but I didn't have time to dig for it.

The subject is worth getting angry about.

Last Night

4th Of July

Yesterday was my favorite holiday. I love Independence Day.

I started out the day at work, and when I finally was off, I went to DJ's to take care of the kitties, then I hurried home so I could change and drive out to my sisters for a short BBQ. After that, my sister and her two friends M and B and I drove back into my neighborhood, where we hastily departed for downtown.

We arrived at Hawthorne Bridge at about 9 pm. The plan was to arrive early so we could get a decent viewing position. We were looking good until the authorities forced us all off so they could let the barge through. I'm telling you right now that the barge didn't need the bridge raised to get under, but whatever.

When they let us back on, we found a new place to stand, a bit closer to the extremity so that if they booted us for another boat, we would not have to go very far. Sure enough, at about 9:45 they kicked everyone off the bridge again. Then they put up police tape. We finally got fed up with all the pushing and shoving so we exited the bridge entirely. They weren't letting anyone view the show from the bridge. It wasn't until about 10:10 that we realized why.

There were two barges---one on each side of the bridge. Had we stayed in our places, we would only have been able to see one. The display was the best fireworks show I've ever seen. Each barge put on a 25 minute show. They were almost perfectly matched so from where we were standing, there were double the fireworks and since we ended up standing right about the bridge on ramp from Naito Parkway we had a perfect view of both barges.

I didn't take pictures because I admit I still don't know how to use my camera. However, B did take pictures and they plan on sending them to me. I'll post them upon receipt.

Wax Hitler Beheaded

I found this article amusing. It is about a wax Hitler which was beheaded by a German museum-goer.

I find it sort of odd that people would rather pretend that that era didn't happen than to acknowledge it and learn from it. Remembering an atrocity doesn't transform it into something good---it helps prevent it from happening again. I also disagree 100% with acts of vandalism. All it does is cost someone else.

Luckily, I'm not the only person who thinks that way.

As a side note, they could prevent further damage to it by putting up a piece of plexi-glass. Just a thought.

Sniffin' Roses

My sister and I were walking around the neighborhood recently, enjoying the nice weather. We were casually walking and smelling the roses in people's yards while we were talking about work, friends, school, etc. and the subject eventually turned to her thesis. It is 57 pages of what she essentially deemed to be nothing but a lot of words. I expressed that I prefer succinct writing and that I could probably never write 57 pages on one topic, but that even though my papers never met minimum page requirements, my teachers always loved them and I always got full credit.

Then she told me the title of her independent study (which she made up and there would be no way for me to remember and repeat) and I told her I could never come up with such a title. My titles are always short and to the point such as the action of smelling roses would simply be called "Smelling Roses." We agreed that her version of that title would be more along the lines of "A Study and Journey into the Fragrance Output of the Various Floral Species of the Greater Portland Area."

Wacky Weather

I began today in Bend, where it was nice and hot. I had plans to leave around one to head back to Portland but ended up staying till two. The trip back was nice. I spread sunscreen on my left arm because it was exposed to the sun for the entire drive back but I still managed to get a tan on that arm. Every year my two arms end up different shades of tan. Oh well.

The closer I got to Portland, the muggier and cloudier it was getting. I could smell the rain even though it wasn't making an appearance yet. As I was about five miles outside downtown it did start to rain large drops, but they were sparse. At 545 I met the girlfriends for dinner. We ate at Clyde Commons and I must say, we were a bit surprised at the tiny portions we got. Now we know not to order the small plates. Upon finishing dinner, we decided to go to Papa Haydn for dessert. We wanted an outside table because even though it was cloudy, the weather was fantastically warm. Other people had the same thoughts and we did have to wait a little bit for a table---which is when the thunderstorm came.

I don't think I've ever seen a thunderstorm that severe in Portland. I've been here five years and I've just assumed we don't get big ones due to the surrounding mountains. I suppose the circumstances were perfect. What I loved about it was how warm it stayed. I really love hot, rainy weather. Don't think I would mind at all if we had storms like that a lot more often.

Utterly Astonishing

I am surprised, in our current age, that anyone had the guts to undo an unconstitutional law. I know some of my readers don't agree about the Second Amendment, but it is what it is. I have honestly wondered how they can muddle the interpretation. It seems quite clear to me---when you look at the ORIGINAL text.

When it was written and ratified, the amendment read, "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." Each clause is standing alone. The more current version reads "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." This makes the most important part (the right of the people to keep and bear arms) into a parenthetical which implies that the militia---necessary for a free state---would be the only reason people could bear arms. Maybe commas shouldn't be added where they weren't originally present...?

Also, I'd like to point out that DC has (had) some of the strictest gun laws, yet has also one of the (if not the) highest rate of crime in the country. Something to ponder.

Enchanting And Disturbing

The new way of architecture.

Good luck to all involved...I am too stunned to say anything else.

It's All In The Feet?

What Your Feet Say About You:




You are pretty average in your expressiveness. You can express yourself well, but you don't always want to.

You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired.

You are an assertive person at times. You'll pull out all the stops to get what you want, if it's worth it.

You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner.

You are not easily frightened, but you have a few strong phobias.

You are intellectual and philosophical. You are more concerned with thoughts than action.

You are a fairly hard worker, but you are also a little spoiled. You like indulge yourself every now and then.

You are not easily influenced by other people. You hold your ground and are true to your beliefs.

What Do Your Feet Say About You?

This is pretty true.

Frog Leap Test

Good luck ;)

I tried it and couldn't make it work. Of course, I'm exhausted too, so that could play some role...

What Happened To Carrot Top??

Here is the answer.

Shudder.

My Little Ponies

As a girl I collected My Little Ponies. I still have them all. There may be as many as 35 in my parents storage loft.

Imagine My Little Ponies being designed by the cast of Boston Legal. It seems pretty bizarre right? It is bizarre but it is also the truth. According to this article, a handful of artists, singers, actors, etc, will be designing larger than normal ponies to be auctioned off to help needy kids. Sort of an out-there thing.

I never would have thought of it. I guess that's why I'm not in marketing.

(By the way, I have the one in the picture. Heh)

Another Seattle Trip

I visited Seattle last weekend with three of my friends, CH, LT, and AJ.

We began our excursion at 9 am on Saturday morning when LT and AJ arrived at CH's place where I was staying. We piled into the Focus and began the long, what turned into approximately 3.5 hour, journey up to the northern-most reaches of Washington.

The weather was not as nice as we thought. It was cloudy and looked like rain. We were all wearing dresses and skirts so, of course, we were freezing at first. The first stop was at our hotel. We stayed at the Days Inn which could have been worse. The outside of the hotel was very, very crummy but the room was not too bad, and none of it could have compared with the worlds nastiest hotel. So we dropped our things off and proceeded to walk into downtown, which was only a few blocks away.

The weather had started to let up and the sun was finally coming out. Though, it never did get above 70 degrees F. We wandered around town, went shopping, and ate a late lunch at an old restaurant that had a Tuscan feel. (Someone had written "Frank Sinatra sat here" on a chalk board, but when we asked, we learned that in fact, he had NOT sat there, or anywhere for that matter.)

After our first outing, we were beat, so we went back to the hotel at 815 and rested until about 10 pm when we ventured back out for dinner. I had given up on dresses at that point and went out wearing jeans. It was a good plan because I was freezing even still. We at at a place called The Apartment which had really good food. Though, CH complained that her crab something-or-other sandwich had little flavor. I can't vouch for that because I avoid shellfish.

Afterwards, we returned to the hotel, completely drained. Upon waking up at 6 am (to ensure enough time for all to shower) we got ready and left the hotel at 745 to go back out to the Pike Street Market. LT and I wasted money on flowers and CH and I purchased Piroshki. Yum. Unfortunately, due to circumstances, we had to leave by 830 am which put us back in Portland at 1130.

A short trip. Delicious food though.

(On a side note, Seattle has a LOT of street Jesus freaks. There were people everywhere shouting at pedestrians about sinning and such. Though I think I would take that over Portland's very excessive petitioners if I could.)

What The Hell?

Things I find funny about this article:

1) someone got with a homeless guy

2) even knowing all we do, people still balk at contraception

3) they seem to want to be pregnant

4) people were waiting with bated breath for Britney Spears' sister to give birth?

5) that anyone would think reproducing is "the" way to knowing you're alive and human

Parent's Rights

A Canadian court has overturned a father's punishment for his daughter after she refused to stay off the Internet, his attorney said Wednesday.

The girl, 12, took her father to Quebec Superior Court after he refused to allow her to go on a school trip for chatting on Web sites and then posting "inappropriate" pictures of herself online using a friend's computer, AFP reported.

The punishment was for the girl's "own protection," according to the father's attorney, Kim Beaudoin, who is appealing the ruling.

"She's a child," Beaudoin told AFP. "At her age, children test their limits and it's up to their parent to set boundaries. I started an appeal of the decision today to reestablish parental
authority, and to ensure that this case doesn't set a precedent."

Otherwise, she continued, "Parents are going to be walking on egg shells from now on."

According to court documents, the girl's Internet usage was the latest in a rash of disciplinary problems. But Justice Suzanne Tessier, who was presiding over the case, found the punishment too severe.

I think the judge needs to be reevaluated. I find it utterly appalling that a judge can say that grounding a child is too severe a punishment (for any improper action a child takes.) At this rate, there will be no form of punishment left for parents and the only result will be a generation of spoiled, boundless little jerks with no understanding of social order.

I'm disgusted.

Anti-Bride

This describes my sentiments perfectly.

Captain Kirk For President

Or, more appropriately, Denny Crane for president. Who doesn't love Boston Legal?

Parallel 45

I went to Parallel 45 with some of my coworker friends to spend a gift we won in a corporate contest. It is a wine bar with excellent food.

This is definitely a place I would go again, though it is a bit out of the way in its Tualatin location, the food and wine make up for it.

This is definitely the kind of place I would take my friends for girls night out.

On Not Taking June Lightly

Rainier is a foreboding mountain. One that, even in June, should not be taken as trivial.

Every year someone dies up there. It is really sad. I know first hand because one of my classmates died on Rainier in a similar situation---freak blizzard. That was 6 years ago, Memorial weekend.

It boggles my mind that the thought of death doesn't cross people's minds, or that if it does, they consider the adventure to be much more fun than potentially deadly.

Fleet Week

I have a fascination with large ships, aircraft, etc. You know this because I post often about the space shuttle for example. So you might not find it surprising that I got in line for the ship tour down at the waterfront.

My sister didn't want to go on the tour, but she realized it was a chance to scout for good-looking men so she didn't protest too much. The line actually moved relatively quickly considering how many people were roving around.

After we were inside the fence, we had to get in another line to board the USS Gary, a frigate. It is an interesting piece of machinery. What was more interesting was the officer who decided to guide our group. Needless to say, we stayed at the front of the group as much as possible and asked a lot of questions. We both cracked jokes and laughed whenever something deserved a it---like when he commented that one of the machine guns looked like "R2D2 with a male 'problem.'"

Nearing the three-quarters point, the officer asked me what people do in Portland when they have no interest in the bar scene. I told him that they do nothing. It is the honest truth. Portland is a lame "city" in that sense. Immediately, I questioned whether that was some attempt at asking me out. I dismissed it just as quickly. While I don't know the rules on the subject of socializing with the locals, I suspected he was the type to obey those rules.

After consulting my sister on the subject of what people do when they don't want to go to bars, we decided that people only eat. At the end of the tour we purposely dragged our feet so everyone else could get off the ship before us. The officer was waiting on the bridge back to the pier. We told him that we decided that people in Portland who don't want to go to the bars go eat. He replied "Eat? I can do that." Then he gestured that we had to leave the ship, so we did. We waited for a little bit to see if he also left but he stayed aboard. We were completely dumbfounded, and will likely remain so for the rest of our lives.

...Uh Oh...

I have checked the Barney's website.

Manolo Blahniks are on sale. Not all of them and not the pair I really want, but a tempting several...

And I will be in Seattle next weekend...

The question is, can I refrain?

Climate Change

This is more of an incomplete series of thoughts in the form of a rant than an actual blog post.

Climate change is a nice, convenient term that encompasses any sort of change that the environmentalists decide is bad.

Global warming is making the earth colder. They "prove" how this is possible in that crappy movie we all saw.

Gore should have called his movie "A Convenient Lie." Why? Because it is convenient that he can turn a lie (in that he is presenting all his theories as fact) into something that benefits him.

Motion Picture

This series of pictures is the precursor to modern film. The other significance of this collection is that it was the first time people had been able to see a horse's movement at a gallop. Before these pictures were taken, there were some odd misconceptions to how the four legs work.

Here is a video of the frames run together.

Hello June

Apparently this fire has some similarities to a 1991 inferno.

One Child Rule

Thought you might find this interesting.

China, in light of the earthquake, has decided that couples who lost their "legal" child can have another one to replace the original.

It is really enlightening to read something about a system that some (myself included) find so bizarre and wrong.

I was going to blog more about it but I think the article speaks for itself.

Space Stuff

Landing on Mars.

Ladytron In Concert

Things I noticed while at the show:

1) they did some cool stuff with lights like bands used to do in the old days.

2) the group is more subdued than some other bands. They don't jump around and get crazy.

3) there was a wide array of people there. Some of them, I think, just go to be going to a show.

4) the place was only half full and at first I thought that it was sad and pathetic---then it filled up more. Though I speculate that there were less than 400 people there. It was a good turn out considering they were in the Wonder and were competing with Sasquatch and some other concerts around the state.

5) you cannot get away from morons no matter how hard you try.

I would definitely recommend that people see Ladytron if they are coming to your area. They sound great live.

Improv.

Let my pen swallow
this. Ink flowing like
a veil, it covers the
sights, the sounds.
Like black of night
lit only by the moon,
a calming surround.

Going To A Show

Ladytron tonight!

I've had these tickets for several months.

Aside from being a little tired, I'm pretty excited to go. I'll report back tomorrow.

True Enough

You Were a Raccoon

You are a master of disguise and multiple personas. You are infinitely curious and question others without fear.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Dirtiest Hotel In The World?

Considering I've stayed in this hotel not once, but TWICE, I can attest to the validity of the assessment.

The only reason we stayed there the first time was because of how cheap it was. BB and I were amazed at the hodgepodge decor in the lobby. The staff was INCREDIBLY rude as well. When we got to our room we were astounded at what terrible conditions we had. We both had to request new sheets because the ones on my bed had hair on them and the ones on BB's had burn holes from cigarettes. Hers were also from a hospital---we know because the name of the place was printed on them.

The reason we stayed there the second time is because my mom and I were on a budget and when I looked at their website, it really looked like they had cleaned the place up, and we both agreed we wanted accommodations that included a private bathroom. If you look at the description on the page, it says "they heart of the hotel is their rooms...cleanliness." What a CROCK. The place was as bad as it was the first time. There were also really loud neighbors with several kids that yelled all night long, the heater didn't work (and it was 16 deg F out at night) and we had to beg for extra blankets. I don't even want to consider how clean those were.

It is a health concern. The only reason this place is still in business is because of the price.

Borderline

Paris Hilton should be required to wear a crash helmet 24 hours a day.

Scarlett Johansson's New CD

I have one word that can describe this album: creepy.

I think that Scarlett herself has a very unique voice. I actually have always thought that with some coaching she could do a lot with it. However, if she has had any, it doesn't come across on the CD. Her voice is lost in the weird lack of cohesion in the music. It is hidden behind her backup singers in certain places. If the actual music itself wasn't so dominant, and she enunciated more (I can tell by how it sounds that she is singing through a mostly closed mouth, like the way one speaks) she might be able to come up with something better.

I wonder if she came up with it all herself? It would actually make sense if she did because of how it is almost over the top.

Go here to listen.

Another Funny Cat Video

Turn on your speakers.

Mad Kitty

Why I'm NOT Voting On Ballot Measures 51 and 52

I've always been a serious voting advocate. How can one complain if one doesn't make the effort to change things by voting? The description of Measure 51 may have changed all that for me.

1) The summary makes no sense whatever. It actually says "Authorizes legislature to enact implementing legislation." I can grasp at what they are trying to say but this nonsensical newspeak is so garbled and circular I actually think they do it on purpose to confuse people.

2) They cannot predict the financial impact of these measures. Convenient, however true it may be. Financial impact is one of my deciding factors when voting. The people who write this stuff like to guilt the voting public into agreeing to HUGE amounts of taxes.

Why I AM voting on 53 is because the state shouldn't be able to request permission from its inhabitants to confiscate private property.

Capitulating To PC Nonesense

In this article, the American Council for the Blind has sued the US Treasury Department for discrimination. Paper money, they say, discriminates against blind people.

While I can see the argument that being blind would make it difficult to know how much money you have I can also see the obvious solution. Yes, it would suck to just hope that a stranger was telling you the truth about how much you were paying or how much change they were giving you, but that is why you use a credit/debit card or just pay in singles. In fact, were I blind, I would do just that. I would also ask for singles only in my change. This ensures you always know how much you are paying and how much you are getting back. (No one is going to try to trick you if your change is 5 bucks by giving you five 5's, etc.)

This brings up another topic: Is paper money on its way out the door? Some countries like Canada were wanting to go to only coins. I can't imagine a pocket full of change but to each his own. But even more, I can see any form of currency becoming obsolete very soon. It practically is already.

SNL McCain

The First Whitney Interview

Go here to watch an interview with Whitney, first ANTM plus-size winner.

You have to scroll down to the bottom row of videos. Hers is second to last.

Hitting The Lottery

WAYNE, N.J. — A New Jersey couple, whose son was struck in the chest with a line drive, is planning to sue the maker of a metal baseball bat used in the game.

Two years ago, Steven Domalewski was pitching when the ball slammed into his chest and stopped his heart. He was resuscitated but now has brain damage and is severely disabled.

The family contends metal baseball bats are inherently unsafe for youth games because the ball comes off them much faster than from wooden bats. The lawsuit will also be filed against Little League Baseball and a sporting goods chain that sold the bat.

An attorney says Domalewski will need millions of dollars worth of medical care for the rest of his life.

The bat maker says while it sympathizes with Steven and his family, the bat is not to blame for the injury.

Let me think of a few others they can sue while they are at it.

Themselves, for letting him play.
The ball makers, for supplying baseballs.
The batter's parents, for letting their son play.
The coach, for making him pitcher in the first place.
The onlookers, for not all rushing to his aid.
The son himself, for not catching the freaking ball.

This is the world we live in. A world in which any freak accident is grounds for litigation. Yes, the boy was injured beyond ever having a normal life again but THIS IS LIFE. It is full of risks and the parents should have wrapped him in a ball of bubble wrap if they were afraid he could get hurt.

If I were the defense lawyer, the first thing I would do is show the statistics of injuries. The second thing I would do is prove how a wooden bat could cause the same injury.

Maybe people should accept responsibility for things that happen to them, and just accept the freak accidents. It really is no one's fault, but instead people like to treat it like hitting the jackpot.

Overheard At The Beach!!

Overheard at the Beach is as funny as Overheard in New York.

Two Words: Ironclad Prenup

Ana #1: Oh my god, look at that guy. He's huge!
Ana #2: Like, really, someone needs to introduce him to Weight Watchers or something!
Girl passerby: Hey, snugglebutt! [Gives large guy hug and kiss.]
Ana #1: What the fuck?
Ana #2: Girlfriend? That fat whale?
Girl passerby: Husband. And you two might have men in your lives if you actually had boobs rather than a caved-in skeleton chest. Come on, schnookums, let's go get some ice cream.

Also the Idea behind Lifesavers Candy

Girl #1, whispering: Oh my god, I'm choking on this macaroni.
Girl 2: Then how are you talking?
Girl 1: The macaroni is stuck in my throat straight up, and I'm breathing through the hole in the noodle.
Girl 2: Ohhh, that makes sense.

If No Elevator Is Available, I'd Like to Be Carried on a Litter

Puerto Rican princess: Hey! Hey, you - Mr. Captain or whatever.
Steward: Yes, ma'am?
Puerto Rican princess: Does this elevator go to the front of the ship?
Steward: Excuse me?
Puerto Rican princess: Where is the elevator that goes to the front of the ship?
Random passenger: Someone throw her overboard now and put her out of my misery.

London On One Hand, New York On The Other

Below is a list of things we know to be true about "Sex and the City."

1) Carrie is excruciatingly selfish.
2) It's not about strong, independent women---it's about self-absorbed, needy women.
3) The "city" they are referring to in the title is New York

That being said, I have a question and maybe someone can explain it to me...

Why, why, is the premiere happening in London? The show is ABOUT women in New York. It doesn't make any sense to me.

It doesn't make sense to all these guys either.

ANTM Finale

So KJ and I predicted with 100% accuracy what the final episode of America's Next Top Model would bring.

In the first half, Fatima was expelled for being pretty but not able to take direction. Anya was called first and they used the opportunity to break Whitney down. When she cried, they said it was the first time they knew who she really was.

In the second half, the two finalists battled down the runway, as usual. This runway was different in that the catwalk itself was short and unremarkable. However, the models actually wore real couture.

Of course, KJ and I knew Whitney would win, if for NO possible other reason, because Anya speaks with a totally bizarre accent. They tend to stress that people who might have to speak on camera need to be able to be understood. The other reason Whit won---we think---is to spread the message that it is actually OK to eat. Last year there was an uproar about anorexic models and having a "plus"-size girl win sort of drives the point home. She is pretty though, and she does deserve it.

More on Religion

One of my favorite blogs had an interesting discussion.

Thats freedom of religion for ya.

Bible: The Short Version

But What About The Seatbelt?

It wasn’t such a “happy jetting” experience for a New York man when, he claims, JetBlue forced him into the bathroom for three hours of a cross-country flight.

Gokhan Mutlu says it all happened Feb. 23, when a flight attendant volunteered to sit in a “jump seat” so Mutlu could make it onto the flight headed from San Diego to New York, according to the New York Post.

About 90 minutes into the flight, however, Mutlu says he got a rude awakening when the pilot informed him that the flight attendant was uncomfortable in the jump seat and would be taking the regular seat back, the paper reported.

According to the suit, the pilot went on to inform Mutlu that the jump seat was "for personnel only" and forced him to sit in the bathroom instead, the Post reported.

Now suing Jetblue for $2 million, Mutlu says he was "mortified, disgraced, degraded and shamed,” according to the Post.

Yet Another Video

Many of you may remember ages back when I posted a video called "Charlie the Unicorn."

Well, here is "Charlie the Unicorn 2."

Enjoy. It is rather odd. Even more than it's predecessor.

It's About Time

I posted a new blog on Red Reviews. Check it out.

For The Cat Lover In You

The Wake Up Cat

Levi's Should Pick This Up

Guys backflip into jeans

Quotes Of The Day

Here are a few humorous postings from overheardinnewyork.

If We Give Up Now, Mother Nature Wins

Guy #1: Man it's freakin' freezing out! Isn't there supposed to be global warming or something!?
Guy #2: Well, obviously we're not trying hard enough.

It's Really Not a Tourist Attraction

Tourist: Can you tell me where grand zero is?
Lady: You mean ground zero?
Tourist: Yes, I guess it is the same thing, okay...
Lady pointing straight ahead: Walk straight ahead. You see the big gap in the sky? There you go.
Tourist: Wait. I don't see anything. What, its all gone already?
Lady: Are you retarded?

Now, If You Don't Mind My Doing So, I Will Give You the Finger

Man: I noticed you're reading The Kite Runner. How is it, if you don't mind my asking?
Woman: Why would I mind if you ask me how the book is? You're just trying to sound extra polite, and it's annoying. Are you from the Midwest?
Man: Actually, I'm from Pennsylvania.
Woman: Even worse.

Weather

Yesterday the weather was nice.

It was sunny.
It was warm.

At approximately 3 pm I walked past one of the notorious Pearl District parks and was surprised to see a hundred people---mostly couples with kids---laying on the grass, playing in the fountain---

Don't these people work? I mean, it was Monday early afternoon. I was off but it was only because I had to work at 530 am. Is Portland just full of wealthy people who don't even work, or is everyone only working part time or super early mornings? I'm not exaggerating---it was as if it was Saturday in the middle of June.

Learning The Facts

Perhaps a regular sports-caster isn't the appropriate person to be writing about horse racing.

Considering not everyone knows anything about horses at all, I would correctly presume that said sports-caster would at the very LEAST endeavor to learn a little bit about horses and racing, rather than comparing it to totally different things like dog fighting or car racing.

Also, I would assume that people who make comments on such stories would strive to be accurate and rational rather than (in most cases) downright wrong and irrational. Reading some of the comments at the end of the article only serves to enlighten me to the fact that a lot of people are totally naive about horses.

Let me point out a couple short facts:
It would be next to impossible (and completely, unfathomably cruel to try) to "save" a horse who broke two legs, let alone both front.
Barbaro and Eight Belles were not the same situation.
If we didn't have horse races, Barbaro and Eight Belles wouldn't even exist.
The jockey is not at fault.
Whipping a horse with a riding crop can't inflict much pain.
The vast majority of horses who retire from the track are perfectly sound for second careers.
Horse racing is NOT the most dangerous horse sport for horse or rider.

I'm willing to elaborate on any of these.

May 5

I thought perhaps it was the nice weather that was bringing out all the weirdos. Then L and I realized that it is Cinco de Mayo.

Neither of us will forget how a presumably drunken guy, who was blocking the only path around a table too big for the sidewalk, moved out of our way. He apologized twice, apparently looking for some kind of response from us. We were talking amongst ourselves and when we were about halfway down the block he "boldly" shouted at us "eat a cheeseburger!"

We didn't say anything back but I was really inclined to tell him that he should share some of his because he could stand to lose a few.

Why do seemingly grown men still behave like boys when they don't get the response they want?

Greetings From Bend

The drive to Bend was torture. The reason for this is because my car's rear suspension is shot, and what that means is a VERY rough ride.

I have been wanting to see my parents for a couple months but I had an ulterior motive. Namely, my dad will fix my car. However, no matter the prognosis, since we aren't completely sure what parts we will need, I am still going to be out some money. Those of you who do not have cars are definitely lucking out on this particular aspect.

Once again, I forgot my camera. I must not be a very wise photographer if I cannot even remember the equipment. I might have gotten some very cool pictures of the mountains if I had.

You Should Paint Your Room Blue

Peaceful and soothing, blue rooms have been known to reduce blood pressure. Your blue room will encourage deep rest and great sleep. A blue room is the perfect oasis for a stressful life.

What Color Should You Paint Your Room?

The ironic thing about this "blogthing" is that I have repeatedly said blue is my favorite color but I would NEVER decorate with it.

Fun At Ikea

I went to Ikea today with my friend AB. She always spends quite a bit more than I do and this trip was no different but I did decide to purchase a couple little lamps. They are small, about 5 inches in diameter and would produce better light if I was able to put them up a bit higher. I set them on my nightstands and they are a nice addition to my room.

I love Ikea. If you are choosy you can find some things that don't look as cheap as the prices.

Hell Is A More Likely Destination

What is kind of amusing about this is that this kid thinks that if he died (via suicide or doing something so bad that the cops would shoot him, I'm guessing) that he would go to heaven. Equally amusing is that he thought that once he got there that he would somehow have the ability to kill Jesus. The article is pasted below.

FLORENCE, S.C. — Federal authorities say a South Carolina teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus.

A dark portrait of Ryan Schallenberger emerged Tuesday in a federal courtroom as prosecutors argued the teen needs a psychological evaluation.

An ATF agent says Schallenberger told a sheriff about his wish to die after his arrest. Prosecutors also played a 911 tape of the teen's mother calling police after he smashed his head into a wall. She says on the tape her son threatened to shoot police if they were called to his home.

Authorities say the teen bought materials to make several bombs and had written a journal detailing his plans to attack Chesterfield High School.

What's sad is that someone actually thinks that way.

Oddly Enough...

My fellow writer/editor friends should find this amusing.

I just read this article in defense of the semicolon. I have a list of things about it.

1) I wasn't aware that there were semicolon haters out there.

2) the author doesn't use a single one in her article other than briefly as an example.

3) they need to use proofreaders before they post this stuff. (They didn't even use the right kind of dashes so how can they be any kind of authority on any punctuation at all?)

The Former Brazen Bean

The other evening after closing at work I happened up Glisan Street. Brazen Bean, normally very busy and lit up, was of course quiet and dark. I would have imagined it was pretty common knowledge by now (three weeks later) that the bar had shut down. Not so, considering I saw people venturing up steps. I know for sure that I would have noticed before even approaching the first step that the bar was closed.

Another odd circumstance happened but two days later. A rudimentary sign was placed out front, saying only "sale." There was some random furniture down on the lower landing but what was more interesting is what was on the deck. Un-notably, there was a couch. But on the couch was a dumb-looking guy. And ON the dumb-looking guy was an even more dumb-looking girl bouncing up and down as if they were "doing it" right there in broad daylight even though they were both fully clothed.

It was, ahem, quite a sight.

Penguin Wetsuit

This gives a whole new meaning to the term "penguin suit."

Best Recent Invention Yet

This will make a whole WORLD of difference in flying.

Too bad only Delta is the only one signed up for it (mostly too bad since I prefer to fly Continental when I can).

Earth Day Commitment

My work place is celebrating Earth Day by asking employees to volunteer some kind of environmental commitment for the week. Someone created a poster where everyone can write the thing they are doing to help save the planet.

The point of it is to get individuals to volunteer to give something up, not to force everyone to. Some people wrote that they would walk to work this week, others said they would save electricity by turning off the lights in unused rooms and closets. There were several others.

At some point in the afternoon, a coworker decided that everyone would play along by removing all the paper towels from the employee restroom. She announced it gleefully over the walkie-talkie that "now everyone can do their part." Immediately, another coworker turned to me and said "I think that is really rude. The point is that we can choose whether or not we want to do this." While there was an additional reason for my position, I agreed completely.

I confronted the person who removed the paper towels. Those of you who know me may be surprised to find out that I actually really hate confrontation and I was sort of nervous to talk to her about it, even though she is not my boss in any way.

I simply said, "I disagree with your decision to remove the paper towels. I am a complete germ-o-phobe and I require paper towels to feel comfortable and sanitary about exiting the bathroom. I am sure that not everyone who works here washes their hands and I know I am not the only one who uses the paper towels on the door handle. Also, I believe I have an equal point when I say that I'm doing my part to conserve by not wasting electricity with the hand dryer."

She didn't argue. I don't think she expected anyone to say that to her though.

Funny Stuff

Here are today's best conversations from overheardinnewyork.

Douchebag trying to get on an over-crowded train: Move in!
Annoyed lady: There's no more room!
Glib red-headed chick: It's a subway, not a clown car!

Professor: So your answer is "Yes"?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Ok. Well, let me tell you that the shorter and more accurate answer is "No". [sic]

Little girl: Daddy, what's that building?
Harried dad: The Goldman-Sachs building, I think, in Jersey City.
Little boy: What town is that on top of the hill?
Harried dad: Union city.
Little girl: What are they building there?
Harried dad: Condos. Jesus, will you two turn around? I didn't pay $45 for you to look at New Jersey.

Must See

This cat loves this horse

Here is a comprehensive list of the types of weather that we drove through on our way to Seattle.

Sun
Rain
Snow
Rain
Sun
Hail
Rain

All that in a 3 hour drive.

Third Trip To Seattle

I went to Seattle again this weekend, this time with my friend KJ. The purpose of the trip was to visit with her friend Tim who was contributing to an art show put on by those receiving their BFAs. After the art show, we met my friend KP and his friend Dave for dinner at Boom Noodle just before heading to the party held in Tim's honor.

KJ and I stayed at the Ace Hotel. We had a cute, small room with what appeared to be an airplane sink in the bathroom, but was otherwise quite livable. The hotel is located on First St in Belltown. Our hotel, being of very close proximity to Downtown, gave us exactly what we were hoping for: Seattle experience.

For Sunday breakfast, we found a nice little eatery, Bacco, where we consumed egg sandwiches on croissant rolls. They were delicious and it set us up for the rest of the day. After breakfast we stopped off at a fragrance store where I think I may have found the perfume I've been looking for. We then walked up to the big mall where one can find Barney's of New York, which we do not have in Portland. There, I sampled my first pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes. I have resisted the urge to try them on because I knew the inevitable would happen and I would rationalize with myself how to obtain a pair of these shoes. (No. I did not buy a pair...but, oh.)

Finally we meandered down to Pike Street Market where we obtained Piroshki, which is a Russian sort of pastry. I bought a few varieties because half are for my sister. We took a break down by the waterfront and enjoyed the brief interlude of sunlight before heading back to the car and returning to Portland. When we got home, we went to Cafe Castagna, where KJ's fiance works and ate a delicious hamburger and Caesar salad.

I Wish It Were A Joke

Saw this article this morning.

Now what?

I'm actually too annoyed and suffering from complete disbelief to make any more comments about it. I would only hope that it turned out to be a hoax of some kind but it doesn't seem the case.

WTF? Seriously.

At first I thought this was kinda funny.

Then I thought it was pretty enlightening (and I became a little agitated) because a lot of guys actually do behave like they expect their woman to heed these kinds of things.

Notice how "the man" expects "the lady" to never see her ex but he himself makes no concessions about his exes. He insists on a few things that seem funny individually at first glance but then when combined with all the others just make him seem like a jerk. I guess he simply wants his woman to give in to everything he wants and essentially give up anything she wants...

I'm all about getting what you want from a relationship. But at least be fair and hold yourself to the same accountability and expectations to which you hold your partner.

(Was he really serious about that "side of the bed" thing? Oh brother. If a woman is perfect in every other way but won't give up her side of the bed if it happens to be the same as his side, what's he gonna do?)

Michelle's Fallacy

"The truth is, in order to get things like universal health care and a revamped education system, then someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more."

The above quote has been all over the news and blogs today.

Does it paint a pretty picture? Terrible grammar ignored, not at all, for the following reason.

Michelle Obama's statement makes the claim that each individual has his or her own pie. Well if we all had our own pie then no one would be giving any up because everyone would have enough. The truth of the matter is that there is only one pie, and it is split 300,000,000 ways.

Consider this pie. It is only so big and everyone gets a slice of it. But that piece varies depending on many factors. Michelle Obama's piece is bigger than yours but who do you think she is talking about when she says "someone" is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so someone else can have more? Certainly not herself. She means you, and she means me. She means to take it from people whose piece of pie is barely enough to feed themselves.

This is the way politics works. The political figure (or his wife) makes a pretty picture out of something that in the end only benefits a few. The majority of us are going to suffer no matter what.

Am I the only one who remembers Hillary blathering on and on about this same thing when Bill was running for president? This comes to mind:

"We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." (And she is your other choice!)

Whose idea of "common good"? Something is pretty clear here...

A HA!

Finally! A man who grasps what it is like to be a woman in the dating scene.

Now if only ALL men could have this realization.

Girl's Night Out Report

Last night, I met up with three girlfriends and two others who are friends of one of them for girl's night out.

We met at a place called District. They have a simple ambiance---not too many tables, unfinished wood on the walls, plexi light fixtures.

I took L's recommendation and ordered a Champagne SupernoVa. It is a delicious blend of Stoli vodka, champagne, and pureed strawberry. It comes with a whole strawberry garnished on the sugared rim. It has an average Pearl District price point of $8.

For dinner I had District's version of gnocchi. It consists of two little potato patties in a bed of mushrooms in a cream sauce. It is really good. Unfortunately, it too is $8 but the portion is very small. I could have eaten two. (Though, for reasons I will get to later, it's good I didn't.)

After dinner I ate a piece of their New York cheesecake. It was drizzled with a berry sauce and there were almonds sprinkled on the plate. We told the waitress that she should recommend they put more raspberries on the plate with it. The cake was also $8. (Notice the trend. Most of the menu is $8.)

When it was time to go we got our bill. It was pretty big between the six of us and the restaurant added a 20% gratuity. We all agreed that 20% is pretty steep. With most places adding 18% for parties of 8 or more, we felt it was excessive---especially since the service wasn't that spectacular.

We left District for an unknown destination. We walked around a few blocks and ended up almost back where we started, but this time at Henry's. We've all been there before but the additional girls were from San Fran so we thought we could take them there. When we walked in I immediately noticed the weird smell and within about ten minutes I was not feeling well. I silently excused myself from our table and went in the bathroom. I thought it would pass so I was just hanging out there for what I thought would be a few minutes. No. My nausea kept getting worse and worse so I finally ended up sitting on the bathroom floor against a wall practically praying that I wasn't gonna lose it. (Conveniently, I was able to prevent at least 5 different women from using a stall that had no supplies in it, so at least my illness let me be a Samaritan. L came in after a while to see what happened to me. I told her I couldn't leave the bathroom because truth be told, I wasn't sure I would make it outside before vomiting. I released her back to our friends and eventually my stomach settled enough to move so I took the opportunity and rushed through the bar and to our table. I notified the girls that I had to get outside so everyone moved their things.

While outside many things happened. Numerous members of the restaurant's wait staff and managers asked if I was okay or if they could get anything for me. Several customers asked what was the matter with me. At one point after the girls left L and me at the table to go get the cars, a large (tall and hefty) man waddled over to offer us his food. He told us we needed to eat. L said "we eat more than you do. We aren't anorexic." He wouldn't let up, however, so I mustered all my ability and opened my eyes and said "I'm really nauseated. Could you take your food away please?"

In the end, I felt better once I got in the car and it was moving toward home. Odd, I know. But I still wasn't well, and when I woke up at 3 am my stomach still hurt. But that was it. I was fine when I woke up for work and I will probably look back on this and wonder what the hell that was about.