Fleet Week

I have a fascination with large ships, aircraft, etc. You know this because I post often about the space shuttle for example. So you might not find it surprising that I got in line for the ship tour down at the waterfront.

My sister didn't want to go on the tour, but she realized it was a chance to scout for good-looking men so she didn't protest too much. The line actually moved relatively quickly considering how many people were roving around.

After we were inside the fence, we had to get in another line to board the USS Gary, a frigate. It is an interesting piece of machinery. What was more interesting was the officer who decided to guide our group. Needless to say, we stayed at the front of the group as much as possible and asked a lot of questions. We both cracked jokes and laughed whenever something deserved a it---like when he commented that one of the machine guns looked like "R2D2 with a male 'problem.'"

Nearing the three-quarters point, the officer asked me what people do in Portland when they have no interest in the bar scene. I told him that they do nothing. It is the honest truth. Portland is a lame "city" in that sense. Immediately, I questioned whether that was some attempt at asking me out. I dismissed it just as quickly. While I don't know the rules on the subject of socializing with the locals, I suspected he was the type to obey those rules.

After consulting my sister on the subject of what people do when they don't want to go to bars, we decided that people only eat. At the end of the tour we purposely dragged our feet so everyone else could get off the ship before us. The officer was waiting on the bridge back to the pier. We told him that we decided that people in Portland who don't want to go to the bars go eat. He replied "Eat? I can do that." Then he gestured that we had to leave the ship, so we did. We waited for a little bit to see if he also left but he stayed aboard. We were completely dumbfounded, and will likely remain so for the rest of our lives.