1) They smell bad.
2) They are ugly.
3) They are stupid.
4) They are utterly annoying.
Top reason:
5) They make lewd gestures at women.
And as further proof, an excerpt from a fellow monkey-hater:
He also did odd things with his bathroom parts which he would get into big trouble for. He would look at me and grin a big monkey grin while he did it too.
Read more of the link if you want further details of the assault.
None of these experiences have been mine, but I know with every particle of my being that I hate monkeys and do not ever want to see one in person. I do not think they are cute. I do not find them funny or adorable.
What, you may ask, is the reason for my hatred? When I was about 12, I was reading National Geographic and they were doing a story on some apes or something. The main picture was of two of them doing the nasty while a third looked on. The article also described how they were all taking turns....I'm too disturbed to continue.
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6 comments:
Hahahahahahaahahahaha. I just find the idea of a monkey threesome hilarious.
*shudder* I deplore them.
Monkeys are disgusting. When I was in Bali, we visited this ancient temple ruin, which happened to be infested with pink-assed monkeys. We were told that we should take off all of our jewelry, glasses, etc. because the monkeys would try to steal them. Well, I need my glasses in order to see, so I had to leave them on. So of course, a few minutes later one of the bigger monkeys jumped on my head. That's right. ON MY HEAD. I freaked out and close-fist punched the monkey in the general vicinity of its face (I was holding on to my glasses, yelling, and punching, so I can't be too sure where I got it). The monkey ran away screaming. And none of the other monkeys harassed me for the duration of the temple tour.
Oh my god. If I ever saw a monkey and it came at me I sure as hell would punch it in the face too. Or as close as I could get.
I'm glad you hate them as much as I do.
Monkey's smell bad? You have extensive monkey sniffing experience do you?
Well...I haven't sniffed a monkey, but I've been to the zoo.
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