Today, I happened to be involved in a conversation about the phrase "forgive and forget." This is in relation to when one is crossed by a close friend or relative. Disclaimer: This in no way relates to any recent occurrence---just a chance conversation.
The person on the other end of the conversation made the argument that forgiving someone who doesn't deserve forgiveness requires indifference, which means you are able to progress without any attachment at all to that person. Indifference is the worst thing you can offer a person who you no longer care about, because to dislike or hate him is too close an emotion to love.
I've never been secretive about the fact that I've written a few people off. Sometimes people do things that can't be forgiven. My personal belief on the matter of "forgive and forget" is that a person can forget about something they couldn't forgive (forgiveness in these cases could be interpreted as "it's okay that you hurt me," when it isn't and serve to open you to further insult/injury). Indifference here is that I don't invest enough care in the situation to bother forgiving it. It is about not wasting the time trying to forgive something one could more easily forget. Indifference, also in this case, becomes the least one could ever offer that person while forgiveness would be the most. Of course, this is reserved only for cases where one would refuse to see the person socially again.
Odd how the central theme of indifference brings two different outcomes. Anything to add?
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2 comments:
Heh. As soon as I get the money I am owed from her, I also have someone I am going to completely write off. I will neither even bother telling her I don't ever want to see her again nor forgive her.
Oh. I wouldn't forgive her either. For the record, I've only written off four people. I mean, that doesn't seem like very many but I don't think most people write others off entirely...
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